You and your ex do not agree on how to discipline your child or what punishments should be used. In fact, their treatment of the children was one of the reasons that you wanted to divorce.
After the split, it becomes clear very quickly that the two of you have quite different punishments that you employ. For instance, maybe your ex told one of your children that they weren’t allowed to use their phone for the rest of the week. You have custody during part of that week, though, and you want your child to get their phone back. Do you have to honor the decisions that your ex made?
Consistent rules can help, but you’re not obligated
There are two things to think about here. The first is that research has found that consistent rules can be beneficial for children. As much as possible, you and your ex should agree on different types of discipline and different rules. You should try to use them the same way in both houses. This makes life more stable for the child and they know what to expect.
That said, unless you specifically agreed to those rules in your parenting agreement when you went through the court process, you’re not obligated to do things the same way as your ex. You don’t have to abide by the things that they tell your child. You can implement your own rules, and your ex doesn’t have to like it, but they can’t take away your custody rights because you’ve done so.
Of course, decisions about how to raise children are often points of conflict for divorced parents. Make sure you always know about your parental rights and what legal steps to take if you need to resolve a dispute.